When Nancy and I started this Challenge at the beginning of the month I decided that I wanted to challenge myself just a bit more and I was going to run my 50Kms for this month. Then when I reached 50kms I pushed myself just a bit more and decided I wanted to be able to run 5kms.
Let me preface this by saying I am not a runner...correction I was not a runner. Never did I picture myself being able to run for 5mins let alone 5kms. I don't want to make it sound like I just jumped on the running train and went for it. Just over a year ago we made plans to go with friends to Mexico for March Break. To my surprise my husband suddenly had interest in going to the gym. When we started going I didn't spend a lot of time on the treadmill but as time went on I increased my time doing a walk/run for about 25mins or so. During that trip we used the resort gym and that was the first time I was able to run for a straight 25mins. After our trip we stopped going to the gym but that desire to want to run was always on my mind. It sounds a bit nutty but it was almost like my body craved running. We invested in a used treadmill and in came the May "Going the Social Distance" Challenge.
Coming to the end of the month I'd surpassed the 50ks I pledged to do for May and have reached 93ks of running for the month of May. But I still hadn't been able to get the 5K I was hoping for. When my sister in law Kristie reached out to me and asked me to go on an outdoor run with her I was both anxious and excited. I totally psyched myself up for it the night before and I was determined to get that 5K done! When Saturday morning rolled around I felt like I was going to pee my pants I was so nervous...turns out I just really had to pee. Thank goodness they had the public washroom open at the public trail we went to!
It was far from easy. I had to stop along the way a few times to walk and catch my breath, but when we were nearing the end and I heard her Apple Watch tell us we'd done 5ks I can't even tell you how excited that made me. After we'd said our goodbyes, I drove home in a state of euphoria, pumped full of adrenaline and couldn't wait to tell my family what I'd accomplished. I arrived home to an empty house, no one in sight, no one to hi-5 and tell me what an awesome job I'd done. (I got those later). I opted for a much needed shower. The minute I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror I started to cry. A good, happy tear filled cry. I did it. I never, ever thought I could, but I did it. My whole life I associated runners as thin, fit, strong people - and those were not adjectives I would have ever used to describe myself growing up, or even up until now. I was overwhelmed by the fact that my whole life I'd told myself I couldn't do it, but I'd never really tried. I've let my weight and lack of self confidence dictate what I could or couldn't do almost my whole life. I am tired of living in a fat person's shadow. I am going to live life, I am going to have fun, I am going to do things I didn't let myself do before out of fear of failure and shame. Because now I know I can.
Let me preface this by saying I am not a runner...correction I was not a runner. Never did I picture myself being able to run for 5mins let alone 5kms. I don't want to make it sound like I just jumped on the running train and went for it. Just over a year ago we made plans to go with friends to Mexico for March Break. To my surprise my husband suddenly had interest in going to the gym. When we started going I didn't spend a lot of time on the treadmill but as time went on I increased my time doing a walk/run for about 25mins or so. During that trip we used the resort gym and that was the first time I was able to run for a straight 25mins. After our trip we stopped going to the gym but that desire to want to run was always on my mind. It sounds a bit nutty but it was almost like my body craved running. We invested in a used treadmill and in came the May "Going the Social Distance" Challenge.
Coming to the end of the month I'd surpassed the 50ks I pledged to do for May and have reached 93ks of running for the month of May. But I still hadn't been able to get the 5K I was hoping for. When my sister in law Kristie reached out to me and asked me to go on an outdoor run with her I was both anxious and excited. I totally psyched myself up for it the night before and I was determined to get that 5K done! When Saturday morning rolled around I felt like I was going to pee my pants I was so nervous...turns out I just really had to pee. Thank goodness they had the public washroom open at the public trail we went to!
It was far from easy. I had to stop along the way a few times to walk and catch my breath, but when we were nearing the end and I heard her Apple Watch tell us we'd done 5ks I can't even tell you how excited that made me. After we'd said our goodbyes, I drove home in a state of euphoria, pumped full of adrenaline and couldn't wait to tell my family what I'd accomplished. I arrived home to an empty house, no one in sight, no one to hi-5 and tell me what an awesome job I'd done. (I got those later). I opted for a much needed shower. The minute I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror I started to cry. A good, happy tear filled cry. I did it. I never, ever thought I could, but I did it. My whole life I associated runners as thin, fit, strong people - and those were not adjectives I would have ever used to describe myself growing up, or even up until now. I was overwhelmed by the fact that my whole life I'd told myself I couldn't do it, but I'd never really tried. I've let my weight and lack of self confidence dictate what I could or couldn't do almost my whole life. I am tired of living in a fat person's shadow. I am going to live life, I am going to have fun, I am going to do things I didn't let myself do before out of fear of failure and shame. Because now I know I can.
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