Why Wait?

Today was a long day. 

Amidst the pandemic my father was due for a much needed surgical procedure. For someone who is a high risk candidate for any type of surgical intervention this is always met with anxiety filled days and nights for all. What made this a particularly drawn out day was that we could not be there with him at the hospital. All understandable given the current situation but that did not make the wait or dropping him at the hospital door easy. The joke of the morning was that he would opt for more surgery if it meant he would be the recipient of more hugs as the one my mom bestowed on him before he walked, on his own, through the sliding doors of the hospital.

Then it dawned on me, why do we wait for these moments to shower family and friends with love and affection? Don't get me wrong, my parents have a very loving relationship, but it is not a daily love fest and outpouring of sentiments. As my mom and I both sat at home waiting with anxious hearts for the phone to ring with good news, I could see the toll the wait was taking on her. I began to involve her in chats that covered all sorts of topics to keep both our minds occupied.  It was funny what discussions we found ourselves having, of course we chatted about how dad was doing and how his charm had probably won over all the nurses and doctors, but we also had a deeper conversation. The "What if" conversation. The topics that are not easily discussed under normal circumstances but are important ones to have as our parents age. I could tell that it gave my mom comfort to voice the decisions that have been shared and agreed upon between husband and wife, to know that wishes have been voiced.

We have always been a family who is not afraid to share, perhaps too much, some would say but I have always loved the fact that no topic was taboo in our house. Honesty and openness was encouraged and never met with scorn, and I hold that very dear. It is why I always encourage members of my social circle, family or friend, to do the same with me. To feel comfortable to have those difficult conversations without fear of judgement or ridicule, just a loving ear to listen and offer help if and when needed. 

I think having the ability to share thoughts and feeling with loved ones is so often taken for granted, often forgotten in the rush of daily life, only to be amplified when critical situations arise. Why not tell your nearest and dearest how much you care today? Or better yet make it a habit to be vocal more often with those around you, not just when it is expected but just because.

I am making this a priority as I saw first hand, with that one hug, how much joy that one small action brought.