The hardest part of writing this post is the honesty of seeing, in black and white, that I am the one sabatouging my weightloss journey. I am the one buying into my own twisted bullshit.
I am the one fooling myself.
Living one life on social media, or at least pretending too, while behind the scenes I have fallen off the proverbial wagon. All adds up to me be on the wrong end of a losing battle.
By recommitting to WW I am prepared to take the blinders off ... to go back to the beginning and work the program honestly. I am proof that it works. It is more than liking the way I look now ... it's about being healthy. I am turning 50 this coming year and with that the potential for health issues increases, especially if I keep going on my current streak.
I need to start thinking longterm. By maintaining a healthy lifestyle, in terms of weight and activity, I decrease my risk or at least be in a better position to tackle whatever may come my way. Getting back is also a hugely positive move in regards to my mental health as I saw a marked improvement in my anxiety symptoms during that stretch of time. One would think that with all the positive outcomes that I achieved why in the world did I allow it to stop? Trust me if there was an easy answer to that it has alluded me. Whether it was a gradual mental or physical shift I can't say but what matters is that it stops here. I am making the decision to end the cycle.
I am laying it out there ... in 2020 I have both succeeded and failed but the one thing I am not doing is giving up!
Happy New Year!
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