This is 48

 

So today I realized just how long it's been since I have written anything for the blog. In some ways I've felt like I have nothing worth saying. I haven't had a "successful" year as far as my weight loss journey goes. I've gone another year without any downward movement on the scale and feel like I've just been stuck. 

This year has been a rollercoaster of desperation. At least that is how it has felt for me. I started the year off on WW, then I quit in May feeling it wasn't really serving me. I started doing calorie counting using MFP, I tried intermittent fasting, the scale just wouldn't budge. Then I decided to hop back on the WW train in October. But just prior to that I made a decision to see a Naturopath. Some of you who follow my journey on Instagram know that I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, an autoimmune disease that attacks my thyroid. I was actually diagnosed with Hashimoto's about 4 years ago but unfortunately I didn't really get any guidance or information about it from my medical doctors. My bloodwork always came back normal even though I was feeling tired all of the time, serious bouts of brain fog, and I could not lose weight no matter what I did. Finally making the decision to see the Naturopath this year at least gave me some clarity as to why I was feeling the way I was and that there are things we can try to reverse what is happening with my hormones. 

My brain still hasn't really grasped some of the changes, particularly the diet part of it. When you have done WW for so long it is hard to be ok with increasing healthy fats and extra protein with every meal. Eating a handful of almonds that would "cost"  me about 3-4 points for the day is something I would normally avoid. It feels wrong even though I've been I know it's good for me. It's a shift a mindset that I need to work on. 

The only thing that I have been consistent with has been my exercise. And thank goodness for that. I am sure that if I'd given up on that I would have gained back all of the weight i'd lost. I do enjoy working out, and I do feel a difference if i go a few days without. Our bodies need activity.

Oh, and did I mention that I am perimenopausal? Yep, good times. Double Trouble. 

And so, here I am. I turned 48 yesterday. Am I any closer to figuring out this weight loss journey? Nope. But I am still determined, I am not going to give up on myself. I could keep harping on the things that didn't go well, what I didn't accomplish this year, but instead I am going to head into 2022 with as positive a mindset as I can. I have a wonderful, supportive husband and family. Friends, both personal and online that I love and whom love me. I choose to surround myself with people that share the same mindset and even the same struggles. We come together to help and support one another and that is everything.