Managing Fear and Anxiety

Today we live in a society that seems to strive on both fueling and then quelling the flames of fear and anxiety.Every outlet we turn to whether it be the local news, social media or even the talk around the water cooler tends to perpetuate fear in times of uncertainty. I am a self admitted catastrophizer. I'm just that person. I don't know where it came from or when it started. I have certain fears now that I definitely didn't have as a young adult. Sometimes I think having kids brought out an irrational fear of all things. I could tell you things, images, that have run through my mind that even make me give my head a shake. 

Our entire planet at the moment is fighting COVID-19/Coronavirus. It sounds crazy to even say that. How can this be real? But it is. We are watching it unfold every day, every hour. The number of people getting sick and dying is increasing every day all over the world. Pandemic. PANDEMIC people!!! I have had days where my fear and anxiety has been so overwhelming that my chest tightens and I can't stop thinking about it. My entire family works in areas that are considered essential services. I have not been doing well this week. But, now that i have gone through my moment of panic I am able to use tools that i have to bring myself back down. I have the benefit of working with some amazing people who are trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Psychotherapy and Psychology. I'm lucky to have all of that at my fingertips. I want to share some of the practices and tips that i have learned that help when I need it.  

First, what is fear? What is anxiety? Are they the same thing? The short answer is no. Although they usually go hand in hand. Fear is an emotional response we have to a feeling or believe that someone or something is going to hurt us or a loved one. Anxiety is more like fear of the unknown. This is what gets me. I am a bit of a control freak and when things are out of my control my anxiety kicks in. So you can imagine in a time like this when I can't control the outcome of this virus or how it is going to affect my life how my anxiety is at max right now.

I want to say that I am not a doctor or specialist and I certainly do not claim to know everything or almost anything about anxiety or depression. Anyone who is experiencing anxiety or depression and feel like they need help managing and coping absolutely should be seeking the advice of their primary care physician.

What can I control? The only thing I can control or try to control as best as I can is my reaction to these thoughts. For me naturally my first reaction is panic. But after I've let myself feel that and through those emotions I challenge those negative thoughts. I may not be able to control things but I can plan for them. I have always been a note taker, list maker, planner and so its no wonder it helps me to do this. For me it has certainly helped to write down my fears and worries and make a list of things that i can do to prepare. 

These last couple of weeks have been challenging for me. More than I thought they'd be. I am normally a good problem solver, I work well under pressuer and I am usually in control of my thoughts and feelings. But when things are out of my control and I don't know how things are going to turn out that is when all goes out the window. This week my chest hut, my thoughts were racing, I couldn't sleep and when I did my dreams were not sweet. I really had to work hard this week to try and reel myself in. 

With the increase in mental health awareness there are so many resources out there now to help cope with fear, anxiety and depression. Here are some techniques that have been helpful for me.

Meditation and Deep Breathing.

There are many health benefits to deep breathing. Check out some of those benefits here - Deep Breathing

Meditation and deep breathing exercises are available literally at your fingertips. Almost everyone has a device that accesses the internet. Carving out 10-20 minutes a day for yourself is not a huge sacrifice when you consider the benefits. I find Jay Shetty a great resource. He is a motivational speaker having gained knowledge and perspective while he was a monk for 3 years. He offers free 20 minute meditation sessions daily on Facebook which are available any time you need them. I also like to use Headspace. If you are a member of myWW you have access to Headspace for free right on the mobile app. 

Positive Affirmations.

This is a tough one for me. Besides the odd tackle I have with anxiety when things are hard I struggle with lack of self confidence almost every day and have for years. But this is an important practice for me when I am feeling anxious as well. I need to remind myself in those moments that I am strong. I can overcome my fears, and I am in control of my thoughts and feelings.

Exercise/Physical Activity.

I'm not an expert on this subject but I do know how it makes me feel. I have days when the last thing I want is to get up early and exercise. But after I've done the deed. I feel good.They say that exercise (besides the obvious health benefits) is a natural anti-anxiety treatment. Exercise and physical activity releases endorphins, which make you feel good and helps reduce stress, it boots your confidence, and improves sleep. All important things to support mental health. Choose an activity that you enjoy so that its sustainable. If you enjoy going for walks - walk, if you enjoy dancing - dance, go for a bike ride, play golf, chase the kids around the room. The point is that it is important to just get up and move.

Stay Connected and Keep a Routine.

At a time when we are being told that social/public distancing is a must it is also a hardship for some. Social distancing, isolation, quarantine, those all sound pretty lonely don't they? At a time when fears and anxiety are running high it is so important to try and keep some sense of normalcy. Connect with friends and family via phone call, text, Facetime or other social media outlets. Keep a routine. This can make all the difference for both adults and children. Try and stick to your usual daily routine and do as many regular daily activities as you can. 

Be Mindful. 

Stop. Pay attention to how you are feeling. Plant your feet firmly on the ground, close your eyes, inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Focus on how you feel starting from your feet and gradually moving your way up. Where are you carrying your tension? Are you clenching your jaw and didn't realize it? Are your neck and shoulders tight? Take some deep breaths and concentrate on releasing that tension. 

So friends take time, take the time that you need to take care of yourself. It's so easy to focus on taking care of everyone else around us and leave us last on the list. Just remember that you can't take care of anyone if you are not ok.